Michael Brickey, Ph.D.
Magazines are full of articles such as, folic acid (Vitamin E, Beta Carotene, etc.) prevents.... This is presented as if it were news. The articles imply we should run out and buy the supplements. Such articles are especially common in magazines that advertise vitamins and supplements. Every month they seem to find or recycle a couple more vitamins and supplements.
What’s wrong? If you were to take all of the vitamins and supplements they recommend in a piecemeal fashion you would be heavily taxing your liver and your wallet. Many of these vitamins and supplements are included in a multiple vitamin and taking both may be taking too much. Many vitamins and supplements can cause serious health problems if taken in extreme amounts.
The articles give little consideration to how the vitamin or supplement interacts with other vitamins and supplements, e.g., high doses of Vitamin C can inhibit the absorption of B-12, calcium needs vitamin D. Supplements such as Gingko Biloba and aspirin thin the blood, which may or may not be desirable and certainly needs to be considered if you are going to have surgery.
The research often isn’t realistic. No one questions that we need folic acid. But the research should have large numbers of people in an experimental and placebo groups and a treatment program that lasts several years. The control group should take a good daily multiple vitamin with the amount of folic acid that multiple vitamins usually contain. The treatment group would take the same multiple vitamin plus additional folic acid. Results should show a statistically and clinically significant effect. Research should also control for socioeconomic factors (people who normally take vitamins tend to be better educated, more affluent, eat more healthily, and exercise more). Rarely do popular press articles meet these criteria.
As consumers we need to eat healthy foods and take a good multiple vitamin as an insurance policy against whatever our diet misses. Then ask what special needs you have that call for additional supplements, e.g., men taking saw palmetto to help prevent prostate cancer, people with a risk of heart disease taking daily low dose aspirin, women who have problems with urinary tract infections drinking cranberry juice or using cranberry extract. Overdoing supplements and piecemeal use of supplements may cause more problems than they help.
Most people get enough iron from their food and don’t need iron in their vitamins. Iron in particular can contribute to free radical damage. People who may need iron in vitamins or supplements include: children, women who menstruate, people who donate blood, and people who are anemic.
On the lighter side, there is the story about two cows that saw a milk tank truck drive by. In large bold letters it said, Pasteurized, Homogenized, Vitamin A added. One cow turned to the other and said, “makes you feel sort of inadequate, doesn’t it?”
The bottom line is to take a good daily multiple vitamin geared to your age and gender. Then consider if there are any other supplements you need beyond what your multiple vitamin is providing. Only take those that fit with your plan. Largely ignore the endless piecemeal articles on miraculous vitamins and supplements.
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This article may be reprinted in E-zines, newsletters, newspapers, and magazines provided they the content is not edited and the following attribution is given:
Dr. Michael Brickey is President of the Ageless Lifestyles Institute and author of Defy Aging. His new book, 52 baby steps to Grow Young, gives two-page-a-week practical steps for developing a youthful mindset at every age. Further information is at www.DrBrickey.com.
Michael Brickey, Ph.D.
Toddlers love to play a game in which they bravely venture away from their parents. They have in mind just how far is safe and comfortable. If the parent happens to move further away or go out of their sight, they rush back to a safe distance.
When today’s seniors grew up, values were clearer and stricter. Often their children rebelled against their values. As they reach middle age, however, the adult children often feel a little lost. Like a toddler, they look to their parents’ more conservative values and ways for reassurance. Even if they are not willing to undergo the self-discipline their parents’ values requires, they often find reassurance in their parents being a consistent ballast in their lives. This is especially true for those who have been divorced and are struggling with shared parenting.
Years ago I went to my 25th high school reunion with my wife. I sat across from a gorgeous classmate. I couldn’t believe the transformation. She had been a wallflower in high school. Now she was strikingly beautiful, owned her own business, raced cars, etc. At the end of dinner people still sat at their tables, waiting for the slow eaters to finish. My classmate said she was feeling restless and wished she could go for a walk. I said, “Why don’t you?” and she responded, “In front of all of these people?” Driving home I was baffled by her being so inhibited and asked my wife what she thought. She perceptively said that a reunion brings out the behaviors you had back then, and back then she was very shy and self-conscious.
The same can be true for when adult children visit their parents. In many ways their emotions, and possibly behaviors as well, are those of a child. Many an adult child walks into their parents’ home and their hand automatically reaches for the cookie jar.
Rebellion is a normal part of growing up and becoming a unique adult. Your adult children may not tell you how much they respect and reference your values, but they probably do. Keeping the light on for them can be a lighthouse in their lives.
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This article may be reprinted in E-zines, newsletters, newspapers, and magazines provided they the content is not edited and the following attribution is given:
Dr. Michael Brickey is President of the Ageless Lifestyles Institute and author of Defy Aging. His new book, 52 baby steps to Grow Young, gives two-page-a-week practical steps for developing a youthful mindset at every age. Further information is at www.DrBrickey.com.
Michael Brickey, Ph.D.
When Betty Rogers retired from her State job, she became a professional speaker. For fun she taught seniors to do stand up comedy at the Funny Bones Comedy Club. At first the seniors weren’t very good at stand up comedy. But that would be true of most people. Eventually many became quite funny.
Of course not everyone wants to be a comedian. Studies find older people are better story tellers than younger people. It comes at a perfect time in life as one of the roles of elders, however is to be story tellers. Story telling is part of the glue that bonds families. It is the conduit for family traditions. How you tell a story determines if it is fascinating or boring. Some people have a knack for story telling. Most of us could use some help. Rather than fumbling and bumbling through a story or shirking from your role as a story teller, practice. Think out, or better yet write out a story. Ask yourself:
• What would be a great opening line?
• Can I paint more pictures in my story?
• Does it pass the shark test–that every word adds to the story?
• What do I want listeners to feel?
• What will help bring about these feelings?
• What is my story telling style?
There is no right or wrong answer. Will Rogers had a plain talk approach. Andy Griffin had a country boy flavor. Some story tellers have a tall tale style. Some have a fond, loving, caring style. Is there a style that best fits you? Staying with a style and enhancing the style will help your story telling become like a brand name.
It also helps to listen to people who are good story tellers and take mental notes on what makes their stories so interesting.
As James Keller put it, “Tell your tales; make them true. If they endure, so will you.”
After you have polished your story and told it, ask for feedback and for suggestions on how to make it more interesting and effective. Your stories are the family jewels. Keep them polished and display them often.
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This article may be reprinted in E-zines, newsletters, newspapers, and magazines provided they the content is not edited and the following attribution is given:
Dr. Michael Brickey is President of the Ageless Lifestyles Institute and author of Defy Aging. His new book, 52 baby steps to Grow Young, gives two-page-a-week practical steps for developing a youthful mindset at every age. Further information is at www.DrBrickey.com.
Michael Brickey, Ph.D.
When Social Security started, most Americans did not live long enough to collect it. The dream was to have a few good years for travel and recreational pursuits. Now American life expectancy is 77 and a lot has changed.
I was at a conference on nursing home services a few years ago and the speakers talked about “empowering the patients.” (This is an oxymoron as calling them patients is putting them in a subservient, be taken care of position.) During the break a nurse told me, “They don’t get it. When I ask my patients to exercise or do something for themselves, they say, ‘I worked hard all my life and I want to relax and be taken care of.’”
The Heldrich Center surveyed workers about retirement. It wasn’t surprising that most Americans indicated they would like to retire at age 65–or younger. What was surprising, however, was that only 10% of the 1,000 workers surveyed said they just wanted to pursue leisure and recreation. The other 90% said they wanted to start a new career, start their own business, go to school, work full-time, work part-time, or do volunteer work. Thus they wanted to continue contributing after “retirement age.”
A 1999 AARP survey found that 61% of retirees and 70% of non-retirees said retirement is “a time to begin a new chapter by being active and involved, starting new activities and setting new goals.” Only 32% of retirees and 23% on non retirees said retirement is “a time to take it easy . . . [and] enjoy leisure activities.” A 1998 AARP survey found that 80% of Baby Boomers planned to work after retirement. Congress’ repeal of the Social Security earnings penalty in March, 2000 now encourages workers over 65 to continue working. (The earnings test penalized employment by reducing Social Security benefits by 33% for retirees 65-69 after an earned income floor of $15,500 a year. After age 70 there was no disincentive.)
Baby Boomers in particular hate getting older. They are flocking to gyms, spas, cosmetics, plastic surgeons, health food stores, and of course the latest diet. While Peter Pan said “I won’t grow up,” Boomers say they won’t grow old. Peruse a magazine rack or bookstore and it is apparent that most are still looking for answers in the wrong places–fad diets, magic pills, and exercises focused on appearances (e.g., killer abs and buns of steel). There are signs, however, that they are starting to look inward, pursing coaching, spiritual paths, and more fulfilling lifestyles.
AARP changed its name. It now no longer stands for American Association of Retired Persons but is just AARP. Why? Because when AARP tried to recruit Baby Boomers, the Boomers were turned off by the “R word.” They associated retired with being old and they hate the idea of getting old. AARP also created a separate magazine for Baby Boomers. Members born before 1945 receive My Generation while older members continue to receive Modern Maturity. (My Generation, however, did not catch on and is no more.)
So what is retirement anyway? The line between working and retirement is blurring. Some people who make a lot of money retire only to start a new business within a few years. Self-employment and home offices are becoming increasingly common. Part-time work is more common as is people taking time off to go back to school, take a sabbatical, help with family members, or travel.
There is an increased awareness that work is often important to giving us a sense of identity, connection, and purpose. Ideally, work should be something that we love to do. As Chicago Bears football coach George Halas said when he was coaching in his 80s, “It’s only work if there’s someplace else you’d rather be.”
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This article may be reprinted in E-zines, newsletters, newspapers, and magazines provided they the content is not edited and the following attribution is given:
Dr. Michael Brickey is President of the Ageless Lifestyles Institute and author of Defy Aging. His new book, 52 baby steps to Grow Young, gives two-page-a-week practical steps for developing a youthful mindset at every age. Further information is at www.DrBrickey.com.
Michael Brickey, Ph.D.
As Michelle Pritchard put it, “You don’t stop laughing because you grow old; you grow old because you stop laughing.” Cultivating a sense of humor is one of the best ways to stay youthful.
Our society tends to regard humor as frivolous. Few activities, however, are as mentally demanding and intellectually stimulating as humor. Humor requires appreciating other perspectives and understanding cultural norms and expectations. It is no accident that one of the eleven tests on the world’s most respected IQ test asks people to arrange cartoon pictures to tell a story.
For people who are learning a language or culture, understanding the culture’s humor is one of the last skills they master. Telling or joke or relating a humorous event requires great judgment and insight in knowing whether someone is likely to find something funny. What is funny to one person might be dumb or even offensive to another person. Telling a joke also requires timing and acting skills.
Humor helps you develop perspective and not take yourself too seriously. Laughing uses a lot of muscles and stimulates your immune system.
Just as physical fitness is a “use it or lose it” proposition, your ability to understand humor declines with age unless you exercise your sense of humor on a regular basis. The phrase “someday you’ll laugh at this” illustrates how humor also helps us put pain in perspective.
Cartoons like Peanuts (Charlie Brown) and Ziggy prompt us to not take ourselves too seriously. Dilbert’s satire assures us that we’re not crazy but sometimes our jobs are. The Family Circus helps us appreciate how children perceive the world, enabling us to be more sensitive to their needs and nourish our childlike sides. Doonesbury and political cartoons lampoon our political processes and help us see when “the emperor has no clothes.” Humor’s ability to get us to appreciate others’ perspectives is a great antidote for racial, political, and international problems.
Personal challenges for humor might be: 1) remembering even two jokes when a stand-up comedian says one after another and has you in stitches, 2) telling a joke and getting a laugh, and 3) developing your own jokes. Joking with young children provides a great opportunity to exercise humor and not worry about looking foolish or blowing a punch line. Of course you do have to reciprocate by listening to a lot of knock knock jokes–over and over. When you listen to young children trying to make up their own jokes, you realize how much a person has to understand for humor to work.
In short, humor is an art form that exercises our minds. Appreciating humor can keep you “mentally fit” and add fun and enjoyment to your life. It is a great stress reliever.
Humor also reveals our anxieties and reinforces stereotypes. Unfortunately, much of the humor about age reinforces negative conceptions of aging. If you want to live a long, healthy, vital life, be alert to ageist humor and challenge it. Examples of negative humor about aging include remarks about being over the hill, an old geezer, an old bitty, and having a senior moment.
Ageist humor can subtly reinforce negative stereotypes. Consider this joke:
The newspaper sent a reporter to interview a man about reaching his hundredth birthday. The reporter asked, “Of what are you most proud?” The centenarian said, “I’ve lived 100 years and haven’t an enemy in the world.” The reporter exclaimed, “Truly inspirational!” The centenarian replied, “Yep, I’ve outlived every last one of them!”
On the surface this joke appears to be positive. Beneath the surface, however, it suggests a negative, stubborn personality. Consequently, it is a joke you need to detect and reject.
By contrast here are two examples of positive humor about aging:
A younger construction worker teased an older worker about his age. Older worker: "Why don't you put your money where your mouth is? I’ll bet a week's wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that building and you won't be able to wheel it back." Braggart: "You're on, old man. Let's see what you got." The old man grabbed a wheelbarrow by the handles and said, "All right. Get in."
The joke showed the older worker as physically active, mentally sharp, and assertive.
A 60 year old woman went to a doctor for her annual checkup. Doctor: "You have the body of a 35 year old and are in terrific shape. You might live forever. How old was your father when he died?"
Patient: "Did I say he was dead?"
Doctor: "Oh, how old is he? Is he very active?"
Patient: "He is 82 and loves ski, surf, and sky dive."
Doctor: "Well, how old was your grandfather when he died?"
Patient: "Did I say he was dead?"
Doctor: “Wow! Is your grandfather very active?"
Patient: “He is 106 and loves to run in marathons. He is getting married again next week.
Doctor: "At 106 years old why on earth would your grandfather want to get married?"
Patient: “Did I say he wanted to?"
This joke challenges our stereotypes and stretches our imaginations.
You may be thinking that it’s harder to find a joke with a positive image of aging than it is to find a joke that is flattering to blondes, but like the last two jokes, they are out there, waiting to be found.
The longevity humor challenge is to have your radar tuned to notice when humor has implications for longevity. If negative, spit it out. If positive, savor it and remember it. If you have some positive jokes about aging, I’d love for you to hear from you so I can share them with others.
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This article may be reprinted in E-zines, newsletters, newspapers, and magazines provided they the content is not edited and the following attribution is given:
Dr. Michael Brickey is President of the Ageless Lifestyles Institute and author of Defy Aging. His new book, 52 baby steps to Grow Young, gives two-page-a-week practical steps for developing a youthful mindset at every age. Further information is at www.DrBrickey.com.
Michael Brickey, Ph.D.
As a psychologist I have worked with many people who were stuck in grief. They speak about losing someone with poignant emotion–as if it happened yesterday. But it happened years ago, sometimes decades ago. Other people, however, deal with loss very effectively and come to terms with a loss within a few months. What accounts for the difference? Those who deal effectively have better mental strategies for dealing with loss.
People who get stuck often form unresourceful visual images in their mind’s eye. Perhaps it is everyone gathered around the table for Christmas dinner–but there is the empty chair where momma is supposed to be. This image freezes the loss in time. It compares a picture of the way Christmas “is supposed to be” with the absence of momma and concludes that Christmas will never be the same again. Other people who get stuck see mom (or whomever they lost) in a hospital bed, wasting away with tubes and machines droning on. This image of mom is sure to elicit sad feelings. The empty chair or hospital bed scenes, however, are only two of billions of possible images. They do not represent the essence of who mom was. More resourceful images would have her with the family, or in a favorite activity, or a symbol that embodies her fine qualities.
Let me make an analogy with computers. When you turn on a computer, you get a default image on the screen. You can click options to have the computer change the default image to a more useful image. The first image is still in the computer if you need it, but the more useful image is now the default. If you have an unresourceful default image, change it to a resourceful image that honors the person who lived.
If you see the person in your mind’s eye, you can change the image and thereby change how you feel. Moving the image away from your head, making the image smaller, making it black and white, and making it dimmer, all make the image less intense. Conversely, making an image closer to your head, bigger, colorful, and bright usually makes an image more intense. Try it. The idea is to make resourceful images intense and unresourceful images seem to be a distant, far away memory.
Much of the literature on grieving emphasizes beliefs that are contrary to effective grieving. One author referred to her husband dying as “amputation without anesthesia.” This is a vivid metaphor that fosters self-pity rather than healing. Another author talked about how profoundly pervasive the death of a parent was and how she viewed everything in her life as “BDD–Before Dad Died–and the ADD–After Dad Died.” This approach intensifies the anguish as opposed to seeing parents dying as the natural order of things and oneself as mature enough to handle.
Art Linkletter's daughter committed suicide at 19 and his son died in an automobile accident at 32. He could have easily rationalized being bitter, but put it this way: “Too many people who lose others–mothers, fathers, children, friends–become people who see grief as a tent pole for their life. They cherish it almost, they clutch it to them, they never let it go, and that grief becomes the impelling force for a negative, bitter, unhappy, vengeful unforgiving life. Other people, like myself, use it as a springboard for being a better person and for enjoying life more and for appreciating all the good things in it as a counter to the other things that are going to happen.”
You can care and feel without feeling every death is tragic. Most deaths aren’t a tragedy. A tragedy is not living life fully, a list of what ifs, and not connecting with life. For many people the tragedy occurred years ago when they numbed themselves to experiencing life fully. As poet Stephen Vincent Benét put it, “Life is not lost by dying; life is lost minute by minute, day by dragging day, in all the thousand small uncaring ways.” For those who have lived a full life but disease has greatly compromised their lives, death can be a relief.
People who deal effectively with loss often see the deceased as an ongoing presence in their lives. A humorous but good example is Fred Sanford from the television show Sanford and Son. When Fred (played by Red Foxx) was having a hard time he would feign “having the big one” (a heart attack). He would then look up and talk with his deceased wife Elizabeth. He wasn’t crazy. He just knew her so well that he could sense her presence, imagine a conversation with her, and gain comfort and guidance from the experience. Actually, he probably got along better with her after her death than in real life as he was a cantankerous character. Many religious people find it easy to think of the person who lived as an ongoing presence or to imagine the person communicating with them from a better place.
Many people believe in an afterlife when it comes to their own lives but neglect to try to imagine their loved one already in a better place.
Teachers and professors are particularly good role models for letting go. They have their students for only a year or a few years and then must focus on inspiring a new cadre of students. Do they complain that they can’t bear to let their babies go? No, they realize that it is time for the students to leave the nest and fly. While they could become sad at the students leaving, they instead are joyful to see them move on to new challenges. They feel enriched and invigorated from having worked with them. They have a vision of helping to change the world.
We too need to appreciate the rhythms of life and work with them rather than fight them.
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This article may be reprinted in E-zines, newsletters, newspapers, and magazines provided they the content is not edited and the following attribution is given:
Dr. Michael Brickey is President of the Ageless Lifestyles Institute and author of Defy Aging. His new book, 52 baby steps to Grow Young, gives two-page-a-week practical steps for developing a youthful mindset at every age. Further information is at www.DrBrickey.com.
Michael Brickey, Ph.D.
Role models teach us and inspire us. As a kid you probably had lots of heroes and role models. You need them as an adult as well. Role models are a short cut from learning by trial and error. If you want to know how to age well, look at today’s centenarians.
The New England Centenarian study found that most of the centenarians they studied were mentally and physically sharp. Most did not have a disability until the last four years of their lives. They averaged one prescription medication. Typically, they died at home from an acute illness or a fall.
Here are a few of my favorite centenarian role models:
Sadie and Bessie Delany’s father was a slave who was freed after the Civil War. Their careers eventually took them to Harlem where Sadie became a teacher and Bessie a dentist. Neither married. They loved reading, learning, and friends. They refused to have a television set or phone at home. When Sadie was 102 and Bessie 100, a reporter interviewed them. The reporter was so smitten with their vitality that she persuaded them to write a book. Their book, Having Our Say, became a best seller and a successful Broadway play and later yet a CBS Television movie. They wrote another best selling book, The Delany Sisters’ Book of Everyday Wisdom. When Bessie died at home at age 104, Sadie wrote On My Own at 107: Reflection of Life Without Bessie. At age 109 Sadie died in her sleep at home.
George Dawson, grandson of a slave, started working at age eight to help support his family. He “got tired of writing my name with an X” and learned to read and write at age 98. At 102 he co-wrote his autobiography, Life is So Good.
At 89 Selma Plaut started auditing courses at the University of Toronto. She graduated with a bachelor’s degree when she was 100. English wasn’t even her native language as she was a Jewish refugee from Nazi Germany.
"Grandma Moses" began painting rural scenes for her own pleasure in her late 70s. Without formal art training, her work became internationally acclaimed and she was still painting at 100.
Dr. Henry Stenhouse ran for Congress when he was 100. Other centenarians teach college, conduct symphony orchestras, paint, sculpt, dance, and even father children. One of the best sources for profiles of centenarians is the book, Centenarians: The Bonus Years by Lynn Peters Adler. Centenarian role models certainly illustrate that you are never too old to do what you love or even to start a new career.
There are few physical traits that distinguish centenarians. They are physically active, most do not smoke, and most maintain their same weight throughout their adult life. About the only thing that characterized their diets were that most ate a wide variety of foods.
The centenarian traits that stand out are mental traits. They are very independent, self-reliant individuals with a strong sense of purpose. They have a good sense of humor and are good at dealing with loss and change. They have a passion for life.
The centenarian spirit is illustrated in a joke--A centenarian goes to the doctor complaining of a pain in his knee. The doctor said, “At your age what can you expect?” The patient replied, “To fix my knee. My other knee is the same age and it works fine.”
The oldest person with good documentation of her age was Jean Calment. She lived in Arles, France and died in 1997 at age 122. She was always a physically active woman who wasn’t overly concerned about others’ expectations. She had a good appetite–not just for food but for everything. She never had fluctuations in her weight. She smoked a few cigarettes a day until she was 117 when she quit on her own initiative with no explanation. She enjoyed port wine and chocolates. She still rode a bicycle at 100. Part of her “secret” was that “I never get bored.”
At 109, largely because of visual limitations, she moved into a retirement home where her diet was unappealingly institutional. Her biographer reports that she never adjusted to the facility’s routines nor they to hers. She would wake herself at 6:45 a.m. and begin her day with prayer and exercise. Her days were very self-structured. Although virtually blind, she got around the facility faster than most of the other residents. Failing vision and hearing compromised the quality of her last years. She declined eye surgery for the severe cataracts in both of her eyes. She might have lived considerably longer and better if she had taken a daily vitamin most of her life, did not smoke, and had the cataract surgery. The surgery would have allowed her to be more active and mobile. Her life is described in the biography, Jeanne Calment: From Van Gough’s Time To Ours: 122 Extraordinary Years.
There is an amusing anecdote about her finances. When she was 90, she entered into a contract with an attorney. He agreed to pay her $500 a month (“en viager”) for the rest of her life and he would own her apartment in Arles when she died. She lived to 122. He died at the age of 77 after paying over $184,000 (far more than the apartment’s value). His widow continued paying after his death.
George Burns booked his act past his hundredth birthday to mentally suggest to himself that he would live that long (and he did). As he put it, “You can’t help getting older but you don’t have to get old.” He also quipped, “With a little luck, there’s no reason why you can’t make it to be 100. Once you’ve done that, you’ve got it made, because very few people die over 100.” Research agrees with Mr. Burns. Mortality rates are lower for people in their hundreds than for people in their nineties. We all need goals and achievements to look forward to. Unfortunately, Burns did not schedule a party for his 101st birthday.
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This article may be reprinted in E-zines, newsletters, newspapers, and magazines provided they the content is not edited and the following attribution is given:
Dr. Michael Brickey is President of the Ageless Lifestyles Institute and author of Defy Aging. His new book, 52 baby steps to Grow Young, gives two-page-a-week practical steps for developing a youthful mindset at every age. Further information is at www.DrBrickey.com.
Michael Brickey, Ph.D.
Publisher Frances Lear said, “I can sit next to a man who has on his other side a gorgeous twenty-five-year-old, and he’ll talk to me, because I’m much more interesting.”
Why shouldn't she be more interesting? Think back to when you were forty years younger. Remember what you thought was important and how you spent your time. Does it seem a little immature now? Would you want to trade your maturity now for your maturity then?
Would you rather have lunch with Jennifer Lopez or Oprah? Brad Pitt or Richard Gere? Most people find Oprah and Gere more interesting because they have more live experience and more to say.
Consider an analogy with computers. Thirty years ago you could do things a little faster (megahertz) but your hard drive had far less information and far fewer programs. Now you have a wealth of information and programs in your hard drive. Would you want to trade speed for hard drive data and programs?
Of course getting better with age doesn’t happen automatically. As employers say, you can have thirty years of experience or one year of experience thirty times. But if you are continually learning and growing, you have paid the price of admission and are indeed getting better with age.
Learning can come from taking classes, reading books, intelligent conversation, some radio or television programs, role models, or pursuing special interests. Even pastimes like crossword puzzles and playing bridge keep our memories and minds sharp. If we decide we value lifelong learning, our brains seek opportunities to learn and grow just as a hungry person sees food everywhere. If we stop learning, we are telling ourselves to put our seats and trays in their upright position to prepare for our final descent.
Growth isn’t limited to intellectual learning. It also involves increased maturity. It means having more perspective on problems, being more accepting of others, and being slower to anger or criticize.
In the presidential debate when Ronald Reagan was asked about his age, he quipped, “I won’t hold my opponent’s lack of experience against him.” The remark helped people appreciate the advantages of his age and helped him win the election.
Better with age is sometimes used as a hollow phrase. It can, however, be very true. Not only do many people get better with time, in surveys older people report being happier than younger people.
Further, advances in healthcare are helping us function younger at chronologically older and older ages. Disability rates have declined 1-2% a year since the government started collecting data in 1982. Dentures used to be common by age 60 and are now rare at any age for people who have had good dental care. Tiny digital hearing aids give much improved sound. Lasik and laser surgery to correct visual problems has become commonplace. Finally, we know a lot more about how to care for our health and have far more resources than even a decade ago.
As the Beatles put it musically, “I’ve got to admit it’s getting better–It’s getting better all the time.” Or, as Robert Browning put it, “Grow old along with me! The best is yet to be. The last of life, for which the first was made.”
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This article may be reprinted in E-zines, newsletters, newspapers, and magazines provided they the content is not edited and the following attribution is given:
Dr. Michael Brickey is President of the Ageless Lifestyles Institute and author of Defy Aging. His new book, 52 baby steps to Grow Young, gives two-page-a-week practical steps for developing a youthful mindset at every age. Further information is at www.DrBrickey.com.
Michael Brickey, Ph.D.
Why do people ask how old you are? Often it is to put you in a category. We all have stereotypes about what people are like at 50, 60, 90, 100, etc. And we usually expect people to “act their age.”
Every time you say your age, your stereotypes about that age are brought to mind. Some people lie about their age. Some have a catchy remark like I’m 70 going on 16. Finally, some simply avoid or refuse to answer the question.
Probably the most elegant solution comes from Bob Hope. He lived to 100 and in many ways was a teenager at heart. He describes himself as “many ages.”
There are times when you want to be like a six-year-old and play with children. There are times when you may want to play a sport like 20 year-old. And there are times for giving mature, sagely advice. The trick is shifting gears to fit the occasion. Thinking of yourself as many ages avoids stereotypes. It also suggests that your repertoire of ages is becoming richer the older you become chronologically.
Acting our age merely limits our behavior to the stereotypes for our age. Since people base their stereotypes on how people aged in the past, the stereotypes for your age are usually about how your parents aged instead of how you are aging. Thinking of yourself as many ages sidesteps the whole issue. It’s hard to hit a moving target.
As comedian Joan Rivers put it, “People are forever being told to ‘act their age,’ but the role no longer comes with stage directions.” The lack of “scripts” gives us great freedom to write our own scripts.
Finally, there is baseball great Sachel Page’s famous question, “How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you was?” If your answer is a lot younger than your current chronological age, why not adopt that age as your real age? Something is telling you that it is more your true age than your chronological age.
If you answered Page’s question with an age older than your chronological age, we need to talk. What is keeping you from feeling youthful?
We tend to become like the people with whom we spend time. That is no surprise. We all want to be liked and one way to be liked is to share common ideas, beliefs, and activities. Fortunately, we have largely outgrown the oppressive conformity many teenagers go through in trying to be liked and fit in.
Having friends who are younger than yourself, chronologically or in spirit, helps you stay young. To have younger friends you need to keep making new friends all your life. Just like the Girl Scout song says, “Make new friends and keep the old. One is silver and the other gold.” I’m not sure if playing with babies makes us even younger than playing with younger friends, but it couldn’t hurt. Judge for yourself, does playing with grandchildren, great grandchildren, or even others’ children leave you feeling youthful and full of wonder?
As you can see I don’t consider the question how old are you to be a trivial one. By the way, now that we have discussed telling your age, how old are you?
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This article may be reprinted in E-zines, newsletters, newspapers, and magazines provided they the content is not edited and the following attribution is given:
Dr. Michael Brickey is President of the Ageless Lifestyles Institute and author of Defy Aging. His new book, 52 baby steps to Grow Young, gives two-page-a-week practical steps for developing a youthful mindset at every age. Further information is at www.DrBrickey.com.
Best Facial Cream: Finding the Fountain of Youth
By: Geoff Hopkins
Experts once believed that facial wrinkles were an inevitable result of the aging process. Although most people will some day experience facial wrinkles, they can be minimized by learning some simple techniques, including the use of a facial cream. Following are some tips for selecting the best facial cream for warding off facial wrinkles.
When you compare facial creams, you should consider the following factors. First, most people do not find the perfect facial cream for their particular skin on the first try. You should keep in mind the fact that some creams can irritate sensitive skin. In addition, you may find that some creams do not provide enough moisture for your particular skin type. When you go to the department store's cosmetic counter, ask for some samples so that you can try out a facial cream before having to shell out a lot of money for a product that may not work for you.
One of the most important components in a facial cream is sun protection. Sun damage is one of the leading causes of facial wrinkles, so protecting facial skin is essential. Look for facial creams that have an SPF of at least 15, and apply every morning before applying makeup.
Another thing to look for in a facial cream is the inclusion of antioxidants. These are molecules that prevent the oxidation (breaking down) of your skin. Antioxidants may slow the aging process and even contribute to a more youthful appearance.
Another component your facial cream should contain are Vitamins E and A, which help skin seem healthier and more youthful by making it more elastic and nourishing it. These vitamins increase the moisture level of your skin, and may therefore minimize the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles.
An essential gift you can provide for your skin is moisture. You probably already drink plenty of water, but you should also provide your skin with a face cream that helps it feel soft and refreshed, but never oily. Many people are not aware that one of the causes of wrinkle formation and exacerbation is chronic dryness. Once you have found the perfect facial cream for your skin type, you should use it consistently by moisturizing daily.
It is important to keep in mind the fact that the makers of face creams often make unbelievable claims, such as the claim that they will eliminate visible pores, remove all signs of aging, and make you appear younger instantly. Unfortunately, there is no product that can do these things. Face creams are an essential part of the care of the skin. But the truth is that there is no product capable of fulfilling these claims. Face creams are an important part of a skin care regimen because they nourish it and keep it healthy, but you should never assume that they will provide a miracle cure.
The best face cream for you will depend on your skin type, your budget, and your specific skin care needs. The best method to finding your personal face cream is to experiment and note the results. If your skin is left feeling itchy, oily, dry, or flaky after the use of a new facial cream, move on and try something new. It will only be a matter of time before you discover the right product for you.
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Geoff Hopkins has worked in the anti wrinkle skin care product industry for years. He maintains websites about anti wrinkle skin care product and skin wrinkle creams.
Selecting the Best Anti Aging Creams or Lotions
By: Loretta Rogers
Aging can be explained by three theories. The first explains that aging is governed by a genetically driven time clock that will run out.
The next widely-accepted theory of aging is the "Free Radical Theory" that says that the body's inability to maintain a supply of free radicals as it ages greatly affects aging itself, and the "Hormonal Theory" that blames menopausal, andropausal, osteoporosis, and cardiovascular diseases for early aging because these conditions are believed to be indirect results of the body's reduction of hormone production.
Today, the most common means of fighting aging is through the use of anti-aging creams. In fact, when you look in different beauty and wellness stores, anti-aging creams take up a lot of space on the shelves.
Apart from the influx of anti aging products in stores they are advertised extensively on television, radio, on the internet and in magazines. They all promise the reduction of wrinkles, the elimination of fine lines and a more youthful skin.
Anti aging creams and lotions have always been targeted towards women. When globalizaiton and commercialization became a worldwide hit, the industry of beauty and wellness became open to men. Products and service were created with men in mind. Anti aging products that are formulated for men are readily available.
In order to be able to select the proper products for your skin, you must know what your skin type is. Different skin types require different ingredients. Take the time to learn what your skin type is.
Aging of the skin can be caused by dirt and oil. If your skin ages due to oil or dirt, choose and anti aging cream that reduces free radicals. Another cause of aging is the deterioration of collagen. If your skin lacks collagen, opt for a cream that aids in the restoration of collagen. There are many various products available in cream, water-based, or capsule form.
The price tag on a product does not assure the quality of the product. Some of the best anti aging creams or lotions have a very reasonable price tag. There is no need to spend more than your budget allows.
Make sure that you pay a visit to your doctor or to a dermatologist first before buying a anti-aging creams or products for that matter so he or she can give you advice.
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Don't let confusion delay you for selecting the very best anti aging creams or lotions. Be certain to visit our Loretta's site for current information about anti aging remedies.
